Booo… I have a load of expensive shit that annoys me

I just got in the door after a long, boring-ass day at work. Fucking customers, man. I really should not be working with customers. I should be hidden away in the back where I can’t do any harm. Anyway. So I get in the door, and I stuck on a frozen pizza (I’m supposed to be on a diet but have lived on pizza and beer and bbq and cake for the past few days… but never mind, my skinny pills arrived in the post! I’m picking them up tomorrow. Can’t freaking wait!) and decided to while away the time while my pizza turns less cold and somehow even more shrivelled up and miserable looking, by putting away the clean dishes.

Opened the dishwasher. What the fuck? Filthy. Pretty much everything is filthy. And this is what pisses me off, big time. You know you’re supposed to WASH the dishes before you put them in the dishwasher? Did you know that? Of course you did. Fuck that, I say. What do you think I bought a dishwasher for? To wash them again? Bullshit. Absolute fucking bullshit. Ok, so maybe you think I’m being unreasonable. “The filter will get clogged” you whine. “That’s why you have to rinse them first”. Well fuck that too. Make a better filter. An uncloggable one. Then, and only then, start marketing your re-washing box as a “dishwasher.” And then you might come back at me with “but Chesty, rinsing the dishes only takes two seconds and is no hassle at all.” Yeah? Right. Washing dishes to any extent takes two seconds and is no hassle at all. Baked on grease is in the past, with Cilit Bang et al. I didn’t spend huge amounts of money (for me) to turn “a little hassle” into “a slightly smaller little hassle.” Screw that. And then, there are only two kinds of dirty dishes anyway. Dirty dishes that are no trouble to wash, and only need a rinse anyway under a powerful jet of water, and dirty dishes that are freaking filthy and take soaking or elbow grease, and the dishwasher doesn’t even leave those clean anyway. So dishwashers suck. But I do love mine anyway. I just put it on over and over again with the dirty stuff left in it. This is why I have a 350 euro electricity bill. But I don’t rinse shit before I put it in so I have cut out 95% of all dish-related hassle. The remaining 5% is the putting away of dishes. I can’t do anything about that though…

And you know what else is false advertising? Laptops. How can we not use them on our laps? According to asshole advertisements, we’re supposed to be able to use them with one leg stretched out and a knee casually bent while sitting in a window box and laughing, and the laptop miraculously perches on the knee. And then your new laptop starts to malfunction, and suddenly it’s your fault for not buying a separate cooling system? Assholes.

Anyway I successfully killed time while my pizza cooked. Thank you.

And good night!

Oh, and your custom is very important to me. Please take a few moments to answer my first poll! Thanks guys! I was on the verge of doing a smiley face… but no.


2 responses to “Booo… I have a load of expensive shit that annoys me

  1. Dude who cares if people are to lazy to read your longer blogs. Fuck them. They’re always entertaining and there’s never a dull moment. Write as long as you like. This is your domain!

    I remember having someone tell me once I had to “wash the dishes,” before putting them into the dishwasher. My brain could barely process such stupid information that I didn’t even reply and continued to stack the dishwasher with crap.

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