Crap, I’m back

Aaaaand she’s back!

Oh fuck no. Reality is winding back around me, squeeeezing the eager, lively holiday self back into submission. Ready for work…. so not ready for work. Must go back to work tomorrow, bright and breezy, right back in there with a 10 hour shift. Customers? Cunt right off. But first, let me wallow in the filthy trough of my week off.

My week off from failure, my week turned RIGHT on, baby. The sex-wolf seized the day and tore it a new mouth. Oh but I’m not going to tell you anything. I’m getting awful paranoid now… maybe it’s the fucking DIGGING UP THE ROAD outside my window for the 5th time since January. I don’t know what the fuck. It’s driving me crazy. Assholes. what more could they possibly need to do in that same exact fucking spot?

It’s right outside my bedroom window. Ugh.

Anyway yes. I’m sorry. I kind of knew this would happen, I’d tell you every excrutiating eyelash movement of the guys I haven’t had a handshake from, but when it comes down to actual real life sex, I’m pussying out on the details. Sorry… Very fun though. Except, now I’m back in my apartment with my privacy and my job and ugh I just want more sex. I’m sorry I’m not spilling the beans, I realised a lot of people I know rifle through blogs on wordpress and I am so seriously recognisable, and would be in deep embarrassment if my dirty deeds saw the light of day… sorry guys. Maybe if you’re good I’ll password protect my filthy tale and post it anyway…. I actually couldn’t be bothered right now though. I’m wrecked, reeling from my slutty escapades. Woohoo! Also, managed to put on only a small amount of holiday weight. Maybe it was the bedroom wrestling burning calories? Because I drank and ate so much… should be a whale right now. I even broke my “no shopping for the love of reason and science even though I don’t understand science” rule and bought a pair of leather pants that makes my ego eject squirty juice all over the shop.

I got my flight yesterday looking Hot (note the capital h) and when I beeped through airport security I had to oh how inconvenient, take off most of my stuff and just squeak through with my leather thighs and a whole bundle of necessary belongings… was hoping for a strip search but damn it I only get the full search when I’m coming home from a muddy festival with too long queues for showers…

Oh I’m sorry. I have no energy for even thinking. I need to settle and regroup. Also need some food, nothing to eat in my house but an old banana. Maybe some frozen pizza in the drawer…… gonna go check.

Be back with something less crap soon, I half promise.


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