more fucking whining from someone on the internet

I’m still in an almighty foul mood.

Looong day at work today with assholes giving me superfluous details about their purchases. You want a white shirt? Fine. White shirt, like it or don’t like it. I don’t want to hear anything about why you want a white shirt or what you’re going to wear it with, I could probably give less of a shit but that would mean I was lying face down in a puddle of my own vomit. I want you to leave me alone. Customers, not other people. I want other people to make me laugh. That’s all I want… make me laugh I’m so fucking depressed. I’m too depressed to masturbate without the feeling of failure being exacerbated. I’m too depressed to eat because, damn I feel fat… and ugly. I’m so miserable I just want someone to tell me I’m pretty and then make me laugh and not mention anything remotely sad or disgusting because oh man I just can’t handle anything right now. The news sends me plummetting into despair, oh woe, dying people, I’m so fucking mortal and I smoke, fuck fuck fuck.

So please, someone, please fucking sort out all my problems with a big fat novelty cheque and then let me see on facebook that my ex slipped in dog shit on the way to a job interview but didn’t realise there was dog shit on his ass and it looked like he shit himself and then he had to pay for the damage to the interview chair and then everyone laughed at him and then he cried and then sent me a message saying he was sorry and I was right about everything and he’s going to man up and send me the fucking money he owes and I can sort shit out and have a good time. And even better let me just wake up tomorrow and still be 21 and none of this shit ever happened and I didn’t get married or buy an apartment and let me just wake up in bed with a hot and disease free naked man and let there be sex and then let me go to work in the afternoon and be paid very much to do very little and let me chill out afterwards with alcohol and friends and let everyone make me laugh.

But no.

So I’m just going to watch stand up comedy on youtube and occasionaly cry to myself and then remember there is no point in shedding tears alone because no one will see how sad I am and that’s the whole point in crying.

Boo fucking hoo.

Finally I am scraping the barrel of blogging…. it’s too fucking easy to write how shit everything is.

Ok what else can I write about?

Fucking nothing right now, I can’t even see the funny side.

Some cunt on the bus home tried to convert me to some god-ism while I was reading the hitch hiker’s guide to the galaxy for the nth time, and I was too tired and angry to formulate cool sensible rebuttals so I just mumbled something about leaving me alone and how she was fucking wrong and then she said she wished me luck on my journey to hell and I sappily smirked back “can’t fucking wait” except I should have beat her upside the head and been like, that’s for the child molestation your faith forgives so easily, you withered old putrid cunt. Bitch. How fucking dare she.

But I wish I could have whipped out some breezy blinding atheist logic on this sad sack of misplaced faith and given her a good smack but I fucking didn’t. So I’m angry with myself as well now, which sucks because I was already super angry with myself for doing such stupid shit all the time and being in a crappy position right now.

My friend told me last night that at least all this fuckery will make me very wise indeed, but I just think I’ll wind up more bitter and cynical than ever, and probably do all the same shit all over again first chance I get.

 

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2 responses to “more fucking whining from someone on the internet

  1. Ahhh thanks man, but I’m too puny and cowardly to karate kick… and I can’t find my mace either, which usually helps give me the balls to be aggressive with the dickweeds that cross my path. Thinking maybe it fell out of my pocket on my last drunk cycling crashing into hookers adventure.

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