Facebook messaging my way to safety, help wanted!

Ok so I am thinking of sending this message to the dude I got freaky with:

I just want to make it all go away, let him know I’m not up for more anal adventures or anything, and also trying to keep his mouth shut so my ex or any of our friends don’t find out how low I have sunk (my ex may have a shitty character, but he’s pretty damn hot)


Need help!

Advice please…

I wrote

“hey, sorry for being a dick yesterday morning, I just really needed to sleep as much as possible before work.

By the way, I’m sure you weren’t going to but I just have to ask, please don’t tell anyone about what happened, I don’t want my ex to find out and we do know all the same people.

I’m still not sure exactly how we ended up there but I guess we did drink a hell of a lot. Man I really don’t want things to be weird or awkward now, I don’t exactly have a surplus of friends here to go around doing this kind of shit. Anyway hope it’s all cool…


More or less because I wrote it in Spanish.

Now as usual with anything I write, I have absolutely no idea if it is completely not right or if it’s good. I can’t tell if I’m giving the right message or somehow telling him I’m interested. I do think I need to smooth things over because if I never speak to him again he will have no reason not to tell everyone. I don’t want everyone to know. Like seriously he is so gross and slimey.

Anyway… I’m freaking out here.

Any advice or suggestions for corrections would be so much appreciated.



6 responses to “Facebook messaging my way to safety, help wanted!

  1. Are you going start it with… Dear Bum Lover…?

    First paragraph add something about the shock of waking up with him. Kicking him out because you’re sleepy just seems rude lol but if you act shy and vulnerable it plays better as an excuse.

    I’d swap paragraph two and three around. Asking him to not tell seems like an ending type thing.

    Also you have to make it CRYSTAL CLEAR that he isn’t getting another ride in your caboose. Be polite but firm.

    Good luck :)

    • Ok I took your advice… oh shit now I’ve sent it arrrghhh hope it’s ok. I am too ashamed. I can never open facebook again! AAAAGGHHH! Ok thank you for your input. I hope it is read loud and clear and is not very offensive to the poor guy. I added a “by the way, it is not going to happen again” type sentence which may be a bit rude but I’d rather err on the side of rudeness. Thanks again for your help. :)

  2. I think it was well written and I agree with the pointers from Huff. if I were to send that sort of message I would just plainly ask that the other person to keep it private. Let him know that you don’t usually do this sort of thing and you are feeling a bit awkward. it’s always good to remind that you value the relationship but don’t want to jeapordize it by going any further with him. If he knows you’re embarrassed by Your own actions and NOT his sliminess, he would probably receive it well and respect your concerns. It sounds like the friendship is good enough that he will listen and hopefully respect. Good luck and I hope it goes ok xox

    • Thanks, yeah I hope it was ok… We actually don’t have much of a friendship really. We get along well is it… ah I think he’s a sound enough guy, it’s just always a worry when you end up in bed with a guy who feels lucky to have got you naked- they invariably disregard everything else and just go for whatever tiny chance of seeing you naked again. (cringing at my own shallowness but that’s how it has always gone in my experience) Anyway I’m feeling better about it now because fuck it I have to stop judging myself by the double standards of promiscuity, I’m a testosterone-alicious woman in 2011 and I love sex so I can’t be expected to not have sex. YEAH! Now I’ll repeat that to myself a few hundred times til I actually buy it… ;)

  3. Speaking to you as a guy and not an internet buddy, I guarantee that dude has told a ton of other guys about this. I don’t know if guy law works differently in other countries, but your best bet was to say something like this as soon as possible to him. The longer you wait the more the guy might feel it wasn’t a big deal and can brag about it.

    • Mmmm I don’t know how international bragging rules work, I’m not a man, but I know I’d brag if I scored anyone I wasn’t ashamed of, so theoretically yes he bragged… BUT I choose to believe him when he said he didn’t so that’s that until I hear different. But never mind that, all his friends are somehow connected to my ex and he is probably scared shitless of my ex cause he’s kind of a scary crazy dude so I would hold out great hopes that fear of how my ex might react ALONE will keep his trap closed.

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