Drunk post! Pros and Cons Editon


I just got home an I am frustrated after my evening.

Here are pros and cons.

Pro: Did not sleep with anyoe I am not attracted to.

Con: Did not sleep with anyone. Will die alone, etc.

PRo: Did not spend tooooo much money

Con: Paid a ttenner to get taxi back home because night bus which I was ON was depressing me too much.

Pro: Taxi driver kind of looke dlike doctor who (david tennant version- my favorite)

Con: Taxi driver did not read my mind and LEAP on top of me, despite the fact that I twirled y hair and licked my lips in the back seat. Screw him anyway, he’s not the doctor. He just looks likehim.

Pro: Wore my lesbian jumper (the one I was given by the girl I lezzed out with at the festival recently) and managed to STOP myself from telling the stry behind how I got my jumper to Andrea.

Con: DID tell Andrea and her boyfriend the not very interesting (but Ilivened it up with physical comedy, Ithink) story of how I peed myself at glastonbury. Why? No one knows why. I mean why I told them this story. What was my provocation? No idea.

Pro: Don’t have work tomorrow

Con: Dont have sex, ever.

Pro: The only way is up

Con: Really really want a man in my bed,, yes in my bed,  and I want to sprawl all over him in my drunken state and then fall asleep and continue it tomorrow……


I don’t get it, I looked slutty but not toooo slutty, I drank my whiskey without making a face, I feel so unappreciated. Maaaaaan

Also I saw two real tranny hookers near my house. Like reaally tranny looking. I giggled when I passed them and doctor taixi man didn’t even try to flirt with me, I felt ugly. Oh ok, goo night


10 responses to “Drunk post! Pros and Cons Editon

  1. I like you a lot. I also like how you started out with pro’s and not con’s. Optimist!

    You make me smile when I read your posts only because I see your raw and awesome beauty in every word.
    There’s a man out there for you, he’s just out there somewhere probably also ranting to someone how he wishes he could find ‘the one’.
    As my Dad always says to me; sleep tight and don’t let the bedbugs bite.

  2. pro: you’re SO NOT defective, If you REALLY REALLY tried you probably could have taken someone home
    con: said guy could have been a massive loser and stereotypical wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am common in these parts, or been into wanking off in your kitchen (sheesh!) or strictly anal.

    be selective. cause if u gettin the latter it just ends up being a big ICK and another blog post ;) and a word of advice… if you find one worthy – blindfold him on the way to your apartment (just in case)

  3. Thanks you guys… yeah, I realise now after 11 hours sleep wayhay! I have to actively try to catch the eyes of guys I like etc… I’m just out of practice, and also I rarely see anyone I like. Last night there was one super hot dude walking around and he did look my way a few times but he had CRAZY EYEBROWS, so overplucked, it just ruined the rest of his looks for me. Anyway, there’s always next time. :)

  4. man, why do men remove hair from their bodies? I mean come on now…. I don’t think I could even sleep with a man who was more slick than me. Chest waxing and removing leg hair should be left for us chicks or competitive body builders. (wouldn’t screw them either…)

    • Im with u. But know lots of dudes that do that here… (the eyebrow thing creeps me out. it’s either that or the unibrow like Burt from Sesame Street. pick one)
      most younger dudes do it in the summer for the beach… once saw these 2 cousins I know, whip their shirts off – virgin waxer, the other virgin depilatory. Chests were covered in red bumpy ZITS (so nasty, i laughed so f’ckng hard). My sexy dude friend used to be a stripper – he does his WHOLE bod – even hid bits down there. it old him I’d run away screaming. My ex was Brit with Italian parents… i had to compromise on the hairy back, but honestly i wasn’t big on it. why the f’ck cann’t we just find a happy medium???!!!!!!!!!!! damn, i gotta get outta Italy.

      • Ugh yeah it’s like, I get that some guys are seriously gross hairy, but unless there are wisps poking out of the neck of your t shirt, leave it alone. That is my hairy man rule- no wisps, no problem. Crotch-wise: I appreciate a trim, but totally hairless just means they are expecting LOTS of oral. And I don’t wanna feel like the hairy or ungroomed one either. (I’m shockingly hairy right now.)

          • Yup…gross. And also why would they even bother? I mean as a woman, I’d stay hairy if I could get away with it. what a beautiful gift they have been given, to be attractive while reasonably hairy! Why throw it away? Stupid men. Stupid…Italian…men!

  5. Drunk post are the best! Gives me an idea…

    Oh sweet sweet MFO, times likes these I just want to pat you on the head while you’re hurling on some trannies on the sidewalk. I’m just happy that taxi driver didn’t bust out a sonic screwdriver in your whiskey state of mind, that dude would have been totally raped.

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