Well, this is a disappointment.
I waited ALL DAY to hear from Fabio about what time he was gonna come on over to my place for the sexing and then he finally gets back to me after I lie to my family and tell them I am having dinner with my one friend so that I can keep the evening free to make myself and my apartment presentable, and then Fabio breezes into my inbox at 8pm and is all
“Yeah I have to do this, this and this tomorrow… If I didnt have to get up so early I would come over to your place”
I’m sorry, mr Studentface, you have to get up early?
I had to get up off my ass and go and have hairs pulled out of my body, hairs that did not want to be pulled out.
I had to get up and leave my bed where I have cmputer games and movies to watch to clean up my messy house so that you and your stupid Italian upbringing would not suspect me of harbouring crabs or something because my apartment is like an extension of my being.
And I wasted my whole day-admittedly you do not know this because I played it cool apart frm invitiing you over in the first place- I played it way cooler than you did, and yet here you are TURNING DOWN A CHANCE TO FORNICATE.
you live 15 minutes away from me.
You know this.
It was 8pm.
My apartment is FULL of condoms and I put on makeup and even straightened my hair so it is long enough to cover my boobs adequately while I sit on your dick and DO ALL THE FUCKING WORK.
Oh I’m sorry, you got shit to do tomorrow.
Do you have any idea how much of my day was spent in preparation for your visit? Of course not, so it’s not your fault.
But FUCK YOU ANYWAY.
then I have to tolerate a whole load more of this not going anywhere conversation before we leave it at “another time then”
You know at this point I have spent more time actually talking to you than I have fucking you. Or nearly, anyway.
This does not bode well.
I made my best ever banana bread because the smell of baking really works wonders at masking the stench of hermit woman who never leaves the house and spends a lot of time on the furniture naked.
And then I ate it all because you didn’t come over and my whole Sunday was wasted and I am very angry with myself for depending so much on some arbitrary man for my happiness and fulfillment.
I am worried now, you will continue talking to me and then when we do see each other next time you have a good stretch of sleepy time up ahead you student DICK, then I will already know how many brothers and sisters you have and a whole load of what you say will make sense to me.
I don’t want that.
I am very angry with you now.
I have decided that, as punishment, I will not wax ANYTHING until you give me a good fucking reason to.
You could have come over here today and I wuold have given you enthusiastic “I don’t know you” head and I would have been all kinds of eager but instead I am downloading some porn (quaint huh, I usually just watch online but I found this one video I used to have… it was the first and only porn video I ever bought, also one of the dudes in it is hot which is nice.)
Anyway now that my Sunday has been reduced to drinking the rest of that wine alone eating too much banana bread (yum, though. I put almond flakes, dessicated coconut and chopped up papaya in it. REALLY FUCKEN GOOD SHIT YO) and watching porn then I really don’t see why I should make any fucking effort for you anyway.
Is it not the case that sex is the best thing? Doesn’t sex trump having got enough sleep?
I have given up a lot more than sleep for my craft in the past and hot dog I’d do it again.
Strike one was the dead granny.
Strike two is the having to get up in the morning.
I am all eager and desperate right now but let me tell you I lose interest quite quickly. My obsessions live fast die young and nobody ever finds a corpse.
So cop the fuck on and get over here fucking pronto.
My porn is downloaded so this rant is over now.