I can’t come to the phone right now

Hello, I haven’t posted anything in a couple days, and I probably won’t for a couple more… at least.

I just want you to know if you are freaking out that maybe I fell in a hole or finally got the beating I deserve and am so clearly begging for, that no, I am fine.

Actually I am NOT fucking fine.

It is Christmas, and I am 4 days into my double shift no days off nightmare.

I mean, yes, from a wages point of view- excellente! I will make enough to… well nothing really, but I need the money. But I am 4 days of double shifts down and I have 14 or 15 left, basically it’s a full day every day until Christmas day when I get the day off and also the 26th.

Those days I will unfortunately not be able to sleep and play Skyrim in a pit of foods and my own filth, no, I will have to go and receive gifts and hugs from my family. Imagine.

Also that means that with 15 days of double shift nastyness ahead of me, I have to sacrifice part of my lunch hour to get gifts for said family.

Anyway I am not here to complain, because I am being incredibly positive to get through this time as if you are remotely pissy it just makes it hurt more.

I just wanted to let you know there will be no updates on what I am thinking or how I feel about not being the most attractive person on the planet, ever, and who I want to sleep with and what retarded shit I said in front of them. If this makes you sad, just think how sad it is for me to not even have my precious work blogging time any more because now I work with my colleague all day long as it is busy.

Anyway.

LOTS OF CHRISTMASSY LOVE TO YOU ALL.

Except for obviously those of you who landed here by searching for something about having sex with your pets or an elderly person’s pets. As usual I have no love for you people.

Anyway. Hope your celebration of the birth of the posterboy for one of the most wicked organisations in history is a little more relaxing than mine. And I also haven’t read anyone’s blogs either because I literally just want to lie down and eat and just watch seinfeld and wait for this to all be over and go back to my usual slobbish lifestyle.

Peace out and goodwill to all y’all motherfuckers

 

PS. I just published this and wordpress suggested I add it into a category to make it easier to find.

One of the suggested categories it listed were “sex with your pets”.

Yes, wordpress. Thank you for that. That is what I write about.

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8 responses to “I can’t come to the phone right now

  1. I hear you sister. Wish I also could go into a coma until it’s all over. I’ll be having my own ‘Oliver Twist Holiday’ here in the south, that’s like 6 or 7 years in a row, but who’s counting.
    I send you big (non-religious celebration) hugs. Hang in there.

  2. Happy Xmas to you and I send well wishes from good ol Las Vegas. I am on a girls weekend with my four besties! wooooo partay!!! Hugs to U xx

    • Christmas in Italy just aint Christmas. Where’s the fracking turkey? And why the fuck are there random pig legs with bows on them for sale in all the supermarkets? Putting a bow on it does not make it look any less gross. Maybe that is a northern italian tradition. Anyway. :) Happy thoughts. Val: Happy Vegas time if you are still there… Oh it’s Monday now. anyway hope it was fun! See you at the other end of the tunnel! xx

      • I see them here too, and I don’t get them either. A pig’s leg in a gift box? Like we (non italian people) should be impressed by that? Gee thanks for thinking of me.
        Here in the south they eat EEL at Christmas dinner. wtf? When you pass the fish shops you can see them swimming around in big tubs. Nasty. For New Years everyone wears red underwear under their clothes for good luck and eats lentils at midnight. Ya ok, keep your heads in the sand.
        I’m with you, gimme my f’cking turkey, stuffing, potatoes and gravy!

        • Hahahahahah eels! Ho ho ho indeed! Italians are hilarious sometimes. The red underwear thing is weird, I remember one year my Italian aunt gave me a tiny lace thong in a see through plastic capsule, and told me “I heard you hadn’t already been given a pair” and I was very confused because I was 14, and apparently the family got together to discuss who was getting my lucky pants for me. And they were far too small. I miss stuffing :)

  3. Merry MYBIRTHMAS Miss MFO! Did you do the snowflakes? I like the snowflakes. It makes your blog so… bitterly magical. I’m jealous. You better be making some money, Skyrim DLC’s will be coming out in a few months and there’s no way in hell that I’m paying for them. <3

  4. I didn’t do the snowflakes I just enabled them… somewhere in wordpress’s settings. I’m not making any money but who needs money when you have a morality blind spot? You can come over to the dark side if you like, then I could chant “one of us” repeatedly and you could save some money? Actually I feel bad inciting piracy, so no. I will not assist you in breaking the law! Begone!

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