I got a new coat and I talk about it now

I fucking broke my kindle, did I tell you that?

No. I broke it after… after me and fabio hooked up the first time I think, I was so ha’ppy and jubilant aboutfinding my mojo all over again that I just laughed in the face of my usual careful putting it back in its sleeve I made it out of a hardback book I had that was kinda shit and a bit of a leather jacket that really idn’ suit me. I think I feel like I talked to you at laength about this before?

It is possible.


becuase I told them my Kindle got broke and they were like, um have you been near liquids?

and I was like WHAT ME? No fucking way, I hate liquids, ask anyone.

I would never do that.

In fact some of my friends say I am afraid of water. My husband used to joke that I am afriad of soap. He’s a funny guy, you know that typical Chilean sense of humour you’ve heard of? Yeah, exacly.

So then Amazon was all “ok you get a new one we will send it to you now”

So that’s awesome. It took me two weeks to sort out the hassle of asking customer service about if I got a new one or not because I was afraid and I keep drinking in the evenings and not being happy enough to do a customer service thing.

Anyway so today I am pretty much drunk as a bag of snakes right now but I am HAPPY AS A PILE OF ASSORTED GENITALS, because I got a new coat.

My mommy got me a new coat, I picked it and bought it with my money and now she OWES ME that money back. and I love it.

It’s the kind of coat that just makes you think… all this previous behaviour and events have been pre-coat things. People were probablu reacting negatively to the lack of THIS AMAZING COAT and now things are gonna be different. I am more attractive in this coat. I look cleaner, like someone who bathes.

My coat is clean therefore no one can tell my previous coat has chocolate all over it which I don’t even understand and also maybe it isnt choclatle? I don’t knw, I wsn’t willing to lick it because of that time with the spider… ugh no time to link now I am typing. There was a spider, I thought it was chocolate… it wasn’t chocolate.


So I have a new coat and I am in love with coat. It is so beautiful now. I am in the first glorious coat honeymoon period, where I treat my coat a hell of a lot better than my stupid husband ever treated me on our motherfuckin honeymoon.

Aw I feel bad saying that, it’s my own fault, I had fun on my honeymoon apart from some of it. MAN IT IS WEIRD how happy I was then, if I woluld be like, hey you dumb broad, quit getting so much self worth from being able to navigate his dumb ass all over just because you so good at reading a fucking map no need to be the strong woman behind the strong man or whatever, and it’s sad too because I was such a tool being all useful to him.

UGH sorry I keep drinking these evenings it’s like I kinda want to smoke and drinking replaces that somehow, in the way that sometimes you just want to feel a littl emore poignant and like shit means something, even thoguh you apsolutely don’t believe any of it, but smethimes you come home from work and you are tiredand emotionally buckarooed and you want to feel like you would be in black and white for a while, in a film where poeple are on their own and don’t talk or are just near a train tracks, and it means something, you know?

So drinking is sort of that way… smoking was quite good for that but dirnking is aloso good but I think I was better at writing things as I smoked. Oh no I used my hands for smoking so technically I am just as shit as typing when drunk as whenchiansmoking but… where are we now?

I feel kind of black and white  but mostly  think the poignancy or bullshit as I aslo call it sometimes depending on my mood, is mostly supplied by the moving playlist I am listening to and the swamploads of human debris, not like limbs and shit, I mean like… just crud I accumulate near my sleeping/eating/sex/gaming/entertainment area and it is the sort of debris a scenographer, if that is the correct nomenclature for this job, would have a hard time setting up in a convincing manner. People would be like there is no need for that many toilet rolls in the room, in fact who poot those there? I dont have a cold, I don’t go toilet in my bedroom, it’s the only thing I leave the room for really… why so many toilet rollls all over? And then pizza boxes… and so many pairs of boots I didnt even know I had that many pairs, I thought 3 but apparently I have more pairs. And plates and cups and bottles of wine, all empty. It is poignant as hell, I think, just need to figure out a kind of theme or something to make the scene about.

I think loneliness or something but probably that’s too obvious so maybe now.

I am probably just tired.

OH MY GOD did I tell you I got a new coat?

It’s the shizz, but only if the shizz is hwat I think it is and that’s a good thing.

It’s so fucking sophisticated, I look like a serious person in it. I am so happy with new coat, I didn’t even put keys in the pockets today in case I wreck th e lining.

Oh fuck I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.

Ok I am going to cut this short and have some water or somthing this is unpleasant.

Good night

Ugh gross.

OK IM back I didn’t throw up it was a false alarm,

instead I drew this for you.

It’s not great, it’s deifinitely not my best work and I know it just realyl shows how egotistical I am that I have seen so many dicks and not paid much attention to any of them, but it is a first attempt in ages, or at least since I started my one woman backlash against all the stupid giving and poking and throwing of shit on facebook and sent everyone herpes that I made myself using the facebook gift creator which I dont know why more people didn’t abuse, and that had a picture of a dick I drew, but it didn’t cactch on anyway which is ironic, because it was herpes. Maybe I saiw somdething about hairy dicks but this one is smooth, probably it has been shaved, you never come across men who wax their penii. But fair enough men are rarely as bristly as I am so that is ok.


3 responses to “I got a new coat and I talk about it now

  1. Haha! Nothing better than drunk writing with pictures of thin-lined peniseses at the end! I lol’d but indeed it has nice structure. Both the writing and the penis ;)

    • Thanks, I’m glad you appreciated my drawing, I have seen a lot of blogs that use pictures as well as writing and I never put photos in really, so maybe I can just start practicing my penis drawings and start adding them to break up the big blocks of text. :)

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