A little update so you know I’m still alive

I’m halfway through a super-intensive course to become an English teacher.

And I love it.

I really didn’t imagine how good it feels to teach. I’m still pretty shit- but I’ve only been doing it for two weeks so, ya know… in time, my sweet.

I make a lot of mistakes but my students like me. Half my guinea pig students have approached me after class to say they really like my classes, and I’m a good teacher. Hell yeah! I think I might have found a job that I actually enjoy!

There’s so much work to do though. I’m in school from 8am til 5pm, then I have to prepare my classes for the next day which takes an apprentice like me hours to do. Then there are these assignments to do with lots of technical grammar speak and worst of all, a goddamn word limit.

On Fridays the L-plate teachers hit the bar next door and make cheesy grammar jokes. I tell ya, I’m rockin’ the teacher jokes. It’s fun. It’s hard work. I’m gonna teach the shit out of English!

Anyway just wanted to let you guys know how I’m doing, and I’ll be back in full blog mode in about a month.

I’m moving to France mid November and them nights are gonna be long and lonesome… at least until I can find an obliging local who’ll share his sausisson with me…

Until then, here are some weird dreams I have had. YAY READING SOMEONE ELSE’S DREAMS!

Last night I dreamt I gave birth to a kitten. My friend gave birth to a kitten too, but her kitten was big and strong and mine was premature and I was really scared it would die. I kept trying to breastfeed it but it wouldn’t drink.. Then I put it in its box to sleep and people kept coming up to me with dead kittens saying, is this yours? And I was like aaaahhh no my baby! But then each time it wasn’t my kitten.

The other night I dreamt I was a big black guy who came from a rich family. My brothers and sisters were black but they weren’t big like me. My mother was Anna Wintour and she drank gin and tonic all day on the patio and gave out to me for being clumsy. I had this rare genetic defect where my shoulders wouldn’t stop growing so they were REALLY REALLY BIG. I was really ashamed of my big shoulders and I couldn’t find a girl who would love me. Then my sister told me to put a personal ad in the paper, so I did, and then I met these two women who had the same defect as me only they had massive thighs, really really massive thighs. So then we had a threesome, but I was afraid my family would see us so we emptied the swimming pool and had our threesome in the bottom of the empty swimming pool.

So I don’t know what they mean, but then I think that dreams are mostly just thought-vomit. I hope that they were just thought vomit….


10 responses to “A little update so you know I’m still alive

  1. I think it says very positive things about your subconscious that you emptied the pool before having the threesome. :)
    Just a thought… What do English teachers wear to class these days?

    • Hee hee… Well I’m dressing pretty professionally these days… I can even pick things up off the ground without anyone being the wiser…. Very boring!

      • A boring English teacher is the worst kind. You just know that under that buttoned-up white blouse and long dark tweed skirt lies a wicked and wanton woman. But the ones you really have to look out for are those with glasses and their hair done up in a bun. A right hussy if ever I saw one. :)

  2. I love reading other peoples dreams. I don’t know what they mean but I have heard that dreaming about cats symbolizes your femininity or sexuality or something like that.

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