I moved to France!

I did it, yo…

I moved to France. NOT following any young Frenchmen, just doing my own thing. I’m in a cool city that’s not too touristy, not too big, not too small. It’s pretty, it’s reasonably priced, it’s 10 euro for a month’s unlimited travel in the city. Wine is cheap. Cheese is plentiful. Men speak French and look like sex.

I’m learning French…. with the few scraps of school french that remain and my disproportionate motivation to speak to people despite how idiotic it sounds, well… I’m speaking French. It’s not good French. I sound like a moron but I get to speak and I smile at people a lot so they are mostly patient and willing to decypher whatever the fuck it is I’m trying to say.

The French people I have met so far are NOT like the stereotype. They are not rude and arrogant and too busy making onion necklaces to listen to my je voo-dray oon pack…packet? Pack…ay? Du… de… day…du? Ta…tabacco? Tabac? Tabac.

They are being very nice and helpful and I am determined to be as positive and open minded and receptive as possible because that is what I did wrong in Italy, I had all these ideas (based on my own real experiences) about Italy that coloured my perception of all the (real, irritating, assholey) people I met.

So here I am, I did it, I quit my job, I studied like I have never studied before (for a month) and now I am a qualified English teacher. Represent! I’m studying French monday to friday and kind of bullshitting my way through the intermediate course, because really I am a beginner, but I have the balls to talk even when I don’t know any of the relevant words, so I survive.

Today I ate a packet of roquefort cheese for dinner and drank most of a bottle of delicious (well…) wine that cost me 3 euro (it’s not THAT delicious, but it’s definitely a worthy expenditure of 3 euro) and now in a little while I’m meeting some other students from my French school to go drinking by a river and I’d really rather go to a bar but I need to network and make friends so I’ll go down by the river, whatever.

We went drinking in a park on Tuesday which I was totally against because of like, the muggings and rapings that might happen in a park. I hid my uninsured phone and my bankcard down the ripped lining of my coat and said sure, why not.

We drank for a while and I was shifty, because I know if we’re drinking in a park then basically any asshole who wants can come over and say “give me your things now” and we would have to give them, but it was fine. Oh, apart from this group of weird, creepy and very dodgy guys who took a shine to us, but nothing happened so it was ok. I would really prefer not to repeat that tonight but I am just going to keep my eyes peeled and not drink too much wine. Damn these students with their outdoor drinking. I feel like I’ve passed that period of my life but I guess I can slum it a little more, I need the company.

Anyway. I’ll write again soon, I just wanted to get something out there before the weekend because I’m meeting some French guys whose contacts I was given by a French girl I met in Ireland, and they are going to show me a good time apparently. Not a proper good time because I am so hairy right now, it’s just not possible. Seriously I am like Tumnus the faun right now. I need to go get waxed but it’s so bad I’m actually embarassed to show a waxing professional the goods. A new waxing professional… I have to find a new one now. I’ll let you know how I get on. Anyway, it’s nearly the weekend of my first week in France. I love it, I’m happy, I’m excited.

Woo woo!

About fucking time, too.



4 responses to “I moved to France!

    • haha! Thanks… When I’m not intensely hung over I am having great fun.., amazing how much of a difference it makes being here with a good attidude vs Italy with my total Italy hatred :)

  1. Oh yay! How exciting! One more new chapter to write in your real life book hey?
    Good luck with the teaching and stuff. xx

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