If you’re interested in knowing more about me, join the club. If at the time of reading this, there is still no club, you are welcome to start one. I will supply handmade badges if you are really shit at drawing, but I will need the membership fees up front.
There is no photo any more. Not since I unleashed the fury of my masturbation and sexual desperation. Sorry. I would like to put up a photo, but I’m terribly paranoid that someone I know might read this (not bloody likely) and then laugh at me for having a blog as well as know all my embarassing things. So if you do see a photo here, it will probably be posterised to the point that I no longer have a nose. (I say it’s for anonymity, but I’d posterise my nose out of real life if I could)
Fun facts about me: (Great for any fan club fundraiser quiz nights you plan on hosting)
-I was voted most likely to end up living under a bridge, addicted to crystal meth with stray cats as my only companions
-I don’t like romantic bullshit
-My favorite animal is the ocelot
-My favorite smell is that crappy cheap vanilla scented car air fresheners.
-My favorite film is Withnail and I
-My favorite sound is an awed silence
-My favorite beverage is blackcurrant flavoured cold and flu medication (add champagne and go for the non drowsy kind, and you’ve got yourself a Panadol Bellini)
-I think vaginas are gross.
-My favorite sexual position is… the plank. That’s right. Otherwise known as, the “can’t tell if she fell asleep or not… ah fuck it anyway”
-I was a really nice, sweet, good child until puberty.