If you’re interested in knowing more about me, join the club. If at the time of reading this, there is still no club, you are welcome to start one. I will supply handmade badges if you are really shit at drawing, but I will need the membership fees up front.
There is no photo any more. Not since I unleashed the fury of my masturbation and sexual desperation. Sorry. I would like to put up a photo, but I’m terribly paranoid that someone I know might read this (not bloody likely) and then laugh at me for having a blog as well as know all my embarassing things. So if you do see a photo here, it will probably be posterised to the point that I no longer have a nose. (I say it’s for anonymity, but I’d posterise my nose out of real life if I could)
Fun facts about me: (Great for any fan club fundraiser quiz nights you plan on hosting)
-I’m awesome
-I was voted most likely to end up living under a bridge, addicted to crystal meth with stray cats as my only companions
-I don’t like romantic bullshit
-My favorite animal is the ocelot
-My favorite smell is that crappy cheap vanilla scented car air fresheners.
-My favorite film is Withnail and I
-My favorite sound is an awed silence
-My favorite beverage is blackcurrant flavoured cold and flu medication (add champagne and go for the non drowsy kind, and you’ve got yourself a Panadol Bellini)
-I think vaginas are gross.
-My favorite sexual position is… the plank. That’s right. Otherwise known as, the “can’t tell if she fell asleep or not… ah fuck it anyway”
-I was a really nice, sweet, good child until puberty.
hahaha the plank! you’re hilarious!
If only my exes had viewed it that way! : )
Can I be member No. 001? How cool are the membership badges? Will wearing one on my turtleneck sweater get me laid?
A thousand times YES! And welcome! I haven’t gotten around to doing them yet as you can see I am a very busy person, but now I see there’s such demand I will try and prioritise the badge making.. I don’t know how cool they are going to be but based on my usual drawings, I’d guess VERY.
As to whether you’d get laid, I’d need to see the rest of your outfit. If you’re wearing hot pants under that turtleneck then I guess you might, the important thing is you don’t leave anything to the imagination as that scares people off and they will just presume you are fat underneath or have a disgusting rash.
I think I have a girl crush. Love your blog, it’s like better than grudge sex :)
Thank you… that’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to me… (maybe that’s why so much of my sex is grudge sex)
Hey! I nominated you for the Versatile Blogger Award!! Your blog is awesome <3
Check out the details here
Cheers very much! That’s lovely to hear… I’ll be back soon anyway am on a bit of an involuntary hiatus thanks to the bastard internet company… catch you on the flip side anyway :)