Cast

Starring:

My ego as itself

My crotch, as whatever you want it to be, baby.

MAN I haven’t updated this page in years. I have met and interacted with many many more people since the social iso tank that was my stint in Italy, but I’ve been so erratic with blogging I just haven’t had that many repeat characters lately. Sorry about that. I’m leaving this here anyway, but it’s very outdated and only useful if you slap the blog back to day one like an old timey phone book and start at the beginning. Which (shudder) I hope you only consider doing if you have already read a few more recent ones and are in prison or something so you have a lot of time on your hands.

Supporting actors:

My Mother: If you want to be a jerk, you can hold her responsible for quite a lot of THIS (swings arms around to encircle blog, and the behaviour it details) but that’s probably really unfair… My mum can be found in several posts, first when I talked of her orgasmic eating noises in CAKE, then featured here when I spent 2 weeks back home, and then here is a rant about her selective memory,  and then who can forget her wonderful visit with all the wine.

Supporting actors: (Italy)

Fabio.….. the Italian stallion who piledrived me into the gap between his mattresses and then whinnied about how he needs to go on a diet.  Still getting callbacks despite a complete lack of passion and terrible conversation, because what can I say, I need the sexercise.

Hot barman …. the poster on the wall of the repair shop of my libido. He’s so purdy………….. first appearance here, future appearance: hopefully in my bed. Watch this space, y’all (Update: never gonna happen)

Sexy Homeless guy……. I’d nearly dere-lick his balls… nearly. First appearance, here. Later, also there, but on different days.

Sexy Bartender… the newest victim of my barman-directed lady wood. And stalking. Mostly stalking. He lasted one really intense week and then I found out his age. And I saw his girlfriend too, she aint all that… First appearance here, then in the later posts for about a week. Sorry couldn’t be bothered doing any linkage right now. Should be in bed now.. workies in the morning. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Ok too much.

Hank Scorpio....  the roach who, in the nuclear disaster that is my social life, still manages to carry on regardless. If he didn’t gross me out so damned much, I’d stomp him good.

……………….first appearance here, unfortunately recurring in later episodes here, and here… and so on and so forth

Hottish Guy with Girlfriend: Not really hot. But pickings are slimmer than my chances with hot barman, so for a brief moment in time HGWG (Hottish guy with girlfriend) held an account with my bank of mental imagery.

………………appears in the same posts as Hank Scorpio (see above links) unfortunately.

Andrea: my only girlfriend here, but one who does bad things to my self esteem.

…………………first appearance months ago, here, then later here. And then every weekend since, pretty much. How I’ve kept a friend so long, I have no fucking clue.

Husband, soon but not soon enough to be ex husband: The reason I’m even in this hermitlike circle of despair and talking to self. I may have stomped all over his heart and destroyed what he thought was a happy life forever together… but his retaliation was to leave me saddled with the debt of two people, so I can’t even run away from my problems like a normal person.

Appearances: EVERYWHERE THERE IS ANGER AND BITTERNESS.

That’s it for now. I’m sure I’ll meet some other people at some point. I hope so. I’ll put them here when and if I do, so you can marvel at my social skills.

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